大学生英语搞笑话剧剧本

【www.guakaob.com--大学英语三级】

大学生英语搞笑话剧剧本篇一：大学生搞笑小品剧本

小品剧本《晚会前夕》

地点：某男生宿舍

人物：学生四人

老大：哎呀，哎呀，哎呀。。。。。。又是一个白天过去了。。

老三：上课一排全睡，魔兽如痴如醉，dota不知疲惫，短信发到欠费，抽烟搓麻全会，白酒

两瓶不醉，逃课成群结队，大学生活万岁！

老二：我着急啊我，不怕名花有主，只怕不敢松土。如果有一天我变成流氓，请告诉别人，

我纯真过……

老大：人活着真累，站着知想睡，上车得排队，吃饭没香味，上课特疲惫，咳！发个短信还

得收费！哥们，让一下，你挡着我的手机信号了。(坐下）哎，还是宿舍而舒服啊。

老三：大哥，今天肚子里馋虫出来了，咱们要不要改善一下伙食啊？

老二：精神失常的疯子不可怕，可怕的是精神正常的疯子，刚吃了一份蛋炒饼，不要鸡蛋！

服务员楞住了：不要鸡蛋，不就是素炒饼吗？

老三：嗯。。老。。老大，他欺负我。

老大：行了，别闹了，烦不烦啊。

老二：哎，大哥，就那事儿，你能保证老四就肯帮咱们嘛！！

老大：如果医生能保证治好病人的病，世界上就不会有死人了！

老三：那可如何是好？再说老四已经帮过咱们这么多次了，怪只怪咱不争气，要是……

老大：老三多虑了。我又不是和白开水长大的，看我的！

老四上

老四：我最大的梦想就是变成一只蜗牛，一出生就有一套属于自己的房间住！可是理想很丰

满，现实却很骨感。生，容易；生活，不容易啊！！

当当当，进门

老四：吆喝，老大老二老三，你们都在啊！

老大：老四回来啦

老四：嗯，刚去了一趟学院楼，找了点东西。（坐下整理东西）

这时老四在看书，三人商量着谁上去跟老四说

老大：哎哟---老四这么认真啊，不愧是我们宿舍的好榜样-------人品好、学习棒、做事不马

虎，对不对？

老二：对对对！那绝对是我们宿舍一杆旗！

老三：对，那绝对是骗人的

老大：对……嗯，去，捣什么乱，就拿做事什么的来说吧，没老四绝对不行！别人都说了：

美国有比尔盖茨，我们宿舍有老四

老二：唉，是不是有点过了！

老大：去！

老四：行啦行，一进来就给我带高帽子，今天怎么回来这么早？你那个什么多少届全体室员

代表大会多少次舍长常务会议暨扩大会议开完啦？

老大：刚刚闭幕！

老四：又有什么新的指示？

老二：昨晚深夜秘密接到短信，说清考时间就安排在4月六号，还不到一星期，我们几个都

快疯了，老四，你看看我们都这样了。。。。

老四：4月6号？？？（沉思状）

老二：四哥，四哥……

老四：好么，这么一会儿就成哥了啊，现在都傻了吧，早干嘛去了，以前是谁啊，一个劲嫌我烦。

老大：老二，怎么那么没骨气，丢人，（拽开老三），不要太过分了，老四，有事情好商量，不要影响了宿舍和谐，（摩拳擦掌）三人一起

老四：你。。。你们要干嘛？

老大：要干嘛？？哼哼。。。马上（一把攥在老四的手），四哥，以前小弟不懂事，我知道错了，为了表达我真挚的诚意，我决定为您唱首歌。

老二：大哥，不要啊。。。。。。

老三：危险。。。。。。

老大：我愿意为你，我愿意为你，我愿意为你。。。。。。

（老二，老三作呕吐状）5

老四：（心脏病突发作，踉跄地道老大身边）大哥，看宿舍四年情意的份上，您饶了我吧，人家唱歌要钱，您唱歌要命啊，我答应了还不成吗？

老大：（回头冲老三老二）搞定，服吗？

老二：大哥，佩服，您这招太卑鄙，不，太厉害了，偶像啊（做呕吐状）

老三：同。。同。。同。。

老二：同意（对老三）

老三：理。。。解万岁。（击掌）

老大：这次要依仗四哥你了，我们兄弟几个感激不尽，您对我们的大恩大德，我们没齿难忘，对您的敬仰如滔滔江水连绵不绝。。。。。。

老四：行了，行了，没玩没了了。说，要我帮忙做什么事啊？

老二：你说学校也真是的，清考也不早通知，别说准备了，连心里准备都没有。

老三：是。。是。。是啊。有点儿。。。不厚道

老大：说这些还有啥用啊，清考可咋整啊，我还有4科呢！！！

老二：我还有5科

老三：我还有6科，

三人齐：苍天啊，大地啊，那位神仙大姐来帮帮我们啊。5天我们准保考不过啊。

老大：考不过我就毕不了业啊，

老三：毕不了业，我就找不到工作啊，

老二：找不到哦我就没钱，没钱我就。。。（哭丧着脸）四哥。。。。。。老二发现老四在偷笑 老二：大哥，老四有问题他在嘲笑我们

老大：老四，不带这样的啊，你不能幸灾乐祸啊

老三：对，有。。。有点。。不厚道 这时老四笑的更疯了

老二：老大，他是不是疯了，咱还能指望他吗？

老三：有。。。有点，难度。 老大：他笑的好诡异，我怎么感觉有什么阴谋啊

老二，三：恩恩。。。。有问题。

老四：别的我就不多说了，今天什么日子你们自己看，别怪我没提醒你们啊。。。

三人齐：什么日子啊，4月1号啥日子啊？愚人节！！！ 老大：诶呀！！我靠，聪明一世糊涂一时啊！！ 老二：天啊，我一世英明尽毁于此（跪倒，捶胸顿足）

老三：（拉起老二）别。。别这样，你啥时候英明过啊？

老二：（想了想，安慰状）还真没有啊！！！

老四：哥几个节哀顺变，上当了是好事儿啊！至少你们知道形式紧迫啦，现在好好准备还来得及，这件事，要真是，真的，你们岂不是死的很难看啊！

老大：可即使是这样，还是没底啊！（老二，三。同意状）

老四：现在还不算太晚，你们好好看书，没有什么一定不行的，这是各个科目的清考答疑时间，好好看，看自己那几科，到时候不要忘了啊1(三人欣喜)

老大：（接过来）微积分，电磁场 老二：信号，单片机 老大：（激动）老二，老三，我看见希望了。 老二：恩人啊。。。。。。 老三：恩人啊。。。。。。

老大：（想了一会儿）亲人啊。。。。 老四：等会儿，那今天的水谁打啊？

三人齐：老四！！！！！！ 老四：MY GOD!!!!!!一群白眼狼！！（转身离去）

老大：（拉住老四）老四我们错了。没有你谁来提醒我们打扫卫生 老三：对啊，没钱的时候找谁借钱啊 老二：挂科的时候也没人替我补课啦 老三：忘了吃饭的时候谁来帮我们吃啊。。。。。。带盒饭啊 老二：就是，没有你谁来提醒我约会啊 老三：没有你早上谁来叫我们起床啊 老二：没有你谁半夜来安慰我啊 三人齐：啊？？？ 老二：受伤的心灵。。。。 老大（唱）没有你的世界寸步难行）记得又一次半夜我胃疼叫你两谁也不动只有老四醒了，给我倒水吃药那晚我们两都失眠了。 老二：你快回来，我们的生活不能没有你。 老四：还记得我们刚来的时候吗？ 老大：刚来的时候，我们背着大包小包来到了这间宿舍。 老三：是我第一个轻轻推开咱们宿舍的大门。 老二：是啊。老三，我还记得我问的第一句是：你的家乡是哪儿？第二句话是厕所在哪儿？ 老四：当时，我来的时候大家还不是很熟，就是咱们老大为不打破这尴尬的局面（自豪）很可以的放了一个屁（愧疚丢人） 老二：我还记得那个时候老三还亲切的说。 老三：听这口音不像本地人啊！ （羞）（痛快的笑）老大：那个时候我们谈家乡，谈高考，有理想，有抱负，血气方刚，有什么都想搀和热情是那样的高..。。。。。 老三：是啊，最怀念的是那段日子 老二：时间为什么就过得那么快啊？ 老大：就到了毕业的日子，不知

道毕业后的日子会怎么样？ 老四：毕业了以后，就不能像现在一样在一起打打闹闹了 老二：毕业了以后，就不能像现在一样在一起说说笑笑了 老三：毕业了以后，就不能像现在一样在一起侃天侃地了 老大：但是毕业了以后，有一样东西是变不了，那就是我们的兄弟情谊，你们永远是我们的好兄弟！！！1 齐声点头：嗯！！！！！！

老四：睡在我上铺的兄弟，无声无息的你，你曾经问我的那些问题，如今再没人问起， 音乐起，《睡在我上铺的兄弟》

大学生英语搞笑话剧剧本篇二：大学生英文话剧剧本

大学生英文话剧剧本

旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen. She had a prettydaughter

namedSnow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. Thequeen married another queen. The stepmother was very jealous.

Shedressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework allday and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do somecleaning, carry water and so on.

白雪：( Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water andso on.)

皇后：I’m the new queen. I’m verybeautiful. you see. If anyone ismore

beautiful than me, I’ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I wantto know something, It will tell me surely.

Now,mirror, mirror, come here!

魔镜：Yes, I’m coming. Your Majesty! What do you want toknow?

皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.

Who is the fairest of the all?

魔镜：Yes. Your Majesty!

You are the fairest of all, I think.

But there is a young lady.

She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black asebony.

She is much more beautiful than you.

皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?

Whois she? Tell me quickly.

魔镜：Yes. Your Majesty!

Sheis Snow White.

皇后：Snow White? No, I’m the most beautiful in the world. Oh,hunter,

come here, come here!

猎人：Yes. Your Majesty! I’m here now.

皇后：Hunter! Take Snow White to the wild forest to pick someflowers.

Find a lonely place and kill her.

猎人：But she is the princess. …

皇后：No, Kill her. Bring her heart to me. I don’t want to see herany longer.

猎人：Yes. Your Majesty!

皇后：Here is a box. You must put her heart in it and bring it tome.

Otherwise,I will punish you.

猎人：Yes. Your Majesty!

白雪：( Pick some flowers. )

Oh! How many flowers! How beautiful!

猎人：( Draw his Knife slowly but hesitated )

Oh!My God! She is so lovely and pretty! I can’t! I can’t killher!

白雪：( Cry exhaustedly)

What are you doing? What’s the matter? Why do you kill me?

猎人：Your Majesty! I’m very sorry. Someone wants me to killyou.

白雪：But who?

猎人：The queen.

白雪：The queen! But why?

猎人：You are more beautiful than her. So she wants to killyou.

白雪：My dear hunter. Don’t kill me. I will run into the forestand never come back again.

猎人：Ok. Run away, the poor child. The wild beasts will soon eatyou.

白雪：Thank you, my dear hunter.

旁白：At this time, a young bear was running by. The hunter shot itand took the heart to the queen. Snow White began to run into thewild forest until it was almost evening. She saw a littlecottage.

白雪：Oh, my God! The queen can’t find me now, I think. How I amtired! How I want to have a rest! Ah, here is a cottage, there areseven small beds. They must be the beds of seven children. Here aretheir names: Doctor, Happy, Sneezy, Sleepy, Bashful, Grumpy,Dopey.

Oh, how I want to sleep!

旁白：When it was dark, the owners of the cottage came back. Theywere seven dwarfs. They were digging treasure in themountain.

老学究：I’m the Doctor. I know a lot of things.

开心果：I’m the Happy. I’m the happiest person in theworld.

喷嚏精：I’m the Sneezy. If I sneeze, the earth will shake.

害羞鬼：I’m the Bashful. I’m a shy man.

老顽固：I’m the Grumpy. I’m not so easy to believe a stranger.The next one

is Dopey. He can’t talk like us.

老学究：Look, the lamp in our house is on!

开心果：Who is it?

喷嚏精：Perhaps it’s the ghost!

瞌睡虫：Let’s go into our cottage silently.

害羞鬼：Oh, someone has cleaned our house.

老顽固：Perhaps it’s the witch.

旁白： When Dopey was holdingthe candle and let the light fall on little snow-white. They allcried out with astonishment.

老学究：What a lovely child!

开心果：How beautiful!

喷嚏精：Who is she?

瞌睡虫：Don’t wake her up.

害羞鬼：Why is she coming here?

老顽固：Kill her.

白雪： ( Wake up )

What a nice sleep! Oh, who are you? Oh, I know. You are Doctor,Happy, Sneezy, Sleepy, Bashful, Grumpy and Dopey.

七矮人：But why are you in our house?

白雪：The queen, my stepmother wants to kill me. So I ran to yourhouse. Don’t drive me away. Let me stay with you.

老学究：If you take care of our house.

开心果：If you do some cooking for us.

喷嚏精：If you make the beds for us.

瞌睡虫：If you do some washing, you can stay with us.

害羞鬼：But you must be careful.

老顽固：Don’t go out. Don’t let anyone come in. Your stepmotherwill find you and kill you.

白雪：I know. I know. Thank you.

旁白：From then on, Snow White kept the house. When the sevendwarfs came back, she had everything prepared. On the other hand,when the wicked queen ate the heart, she took out the mirror andasked.

皇后：Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of all?

魔镜：Your Majesty! You are the fairest of all. But Snow White isstill alive and well. She lives with the seven dwarfs. No one ismore beautiful than she.

皇后：No! Snow White must die. I must finish her even if it costsmy life.

旁白：The queen made a poisonous apple and dressed herself like anold woman. She came to the cottage .

皇后：Good things to sell. Pretty things to sell. Cheap. Verycheap.

白雪：Hi, good day, my good lady. What do you sell?

皇后：Apples. Very delicious apples! You can have a taste. Thisone, please!

白雪：OK! Thank you!

( Having a small piece, dead )

皇后：Now I’m the most beautiful in the world.

旁白：When the seven dwarfs came from work. They were greatlysurprise to see Snow White dead

七矮人：What’s the matter?

老学究：Snow White is dead.

七矮人：Oh, my God! Who did it? It must be the wicked queen. Nowlet’s pick some flowers and place around her

大学生英语搞笑话剧剧本篇三：大学流行话剧英语剧本

英语话剧剧本<美女与野兽>

7人，4男三女，一男为旁白，其余三男分别为美女父亲，野兽，花花公子，三女分别为美女大姐，美女二姐，美女

旁白：Hello,everybody,I am aside.today I will tell you a very very beautify story.Now let me introduce the members of this story first.(一个一个指着说)the father of the beauty,beast,playboy, the eldest sister of beauty,the second elder sister of beaty,and the leading role of our story----beauty.now,our beautyful story is begining.

第一幕：出场人物：美女父亲，美女大姐，美女二姐，美女

美女父亲(依依不舍的)：my dear daughters,I must go .

美女三姐妹(很担心的)：where will you go,father?Don't leave us!

美女父亲：I must go to a far away place,to talk a big business.If I talk succeed,then I will make very much money.

美女大姐，二姐：what!? Oh yeah! father,if you successful,please bring us some pretty thing! 美女父亲：what pretty thing do you want, my dear daughters?

美女大姐:I just want a diamond,,my dear father!

美女二姐:I just want a precious stone,my dear father!

美女父亲:OK,I will bring them to you.And you,(对着美女) my dear little beauty,what do you want?

美女:I want a pretty flower,daddy.I'll miss you.

美女父亲:I'll miss you too.But I have to leave.(转身离去)

美女大姐,二姐:good bye, father,rember to bring us a diamond and a precious stone!

美女:good bye, father,I'll very miss you!I love you!

第二幕: 出场人物: 美女父亲,野兽

旁白:the father of the beauty is going,one day he got a strange palce.He find he was lost his way.But a big castle appeared in his eyes.

美女父亲：woo~~~Its so big and so beauty castle.(上前敲门)hello!anybody?!plese open the door!(发现门是开着的）hen?the door has been opened.(走了进去)woo~~~so many delicious dishes,I'm so hungry now, I think the master of this castle is a kind and warmheart man.Let me eat something.(吃了起来,吃到一半突然发现前面的花园有许多鲜花)hen?Its so many flowers!I shall bring one to my little daughter beauty.(走过去采花)

野兽:You!

美女父亲(吃惊的):Oh no~~~~~

野兽:How dare you!I have give you eating But I dont think you are so greedy! I will kill you and eat you!

美女父亲:no!Please dont!I have three daughters!If I die ,they will very sad!

野兽:You have daughters?Do they beauty?

美女父亲:beauty!beauty!very beauty!espicially my little daughter , she like an angel!

野兽:Ok.Then I wont kill you.But you must take your little daughter to here.I want to see her! 美女父亲:o~~~I understande.

野兽:If you dont take her to here three days after, I will kill you and your daughters and eat you!

第三幕:出场人物:美女父亲,美女大姐,美女二姐,美女

旁白: when the father of beauty completed his business, he was going home and told his daughters

what happened.

美女(伤心的)：daddy,I love you!I wont let the beast kill you!

美女父亲：I wont let the beast touch you too!But he is so strong that nobody can defeat him! 美女大姐(对着美女说）：If you dont want the flower, that nothing will happened!Its your mistake!

美女二姐：why you want a flower ?Do you want to kill daddy?hen?!

美女：no!Idont!I will go to the place where the beast living.He said if me come that he wont kill daddy!

美女父亲：No ! my little beauty!You are my best love!Icant leave you!

美女：Dont worry,daddy.I will be back.trust me!(转身离去)

美女父亲:No!!!(哭泣~~~)

美女大姐二姐(悄悄离开)大姐:She must be eaten by the beast,hahaha~~~~~~(一起笑)

第四幕:出场人物:美女,花花工子,野兽

旁白:when the beauty was on the road, she was become aim by someone

花花公子:I am a handsome boy,I like beauty girl~~~

美女(对着他看了两眼):……

花花公子:woo~~~what a beauty girl!here is a present for you!(拿起一枚戒指)

美女:I dont want your present,I just wanna to save my daddy!

花花公子: Dont leave me , I need you, and I will help you to save your father,heihei~~~~(上前要动手动脚)

美女:Dont! Dont touch me !

野兽:What are you doing!

花花公子:a~~~~~(晕倒)

(美女吃惊地望着野兽)

野兽: You must be his daughter.

(美女点点头)

野兽:please come with me.

美女:woo~~~Its so nice castle.

野兽:This is my home ,do you like it?

美女:yes ,its so pretty.

野兽:this is your bad room,you can sleep here at night.

美女:en ~~~~And where you sleep?

野兽:I sleep in my room.

美女:o~~~~(松了一口气)

旁白:two week after

野兽:Do you feel happy living here?

美女:Yes ,I do. but I shall go home.I want to see my daddy!

野兽(突然认真的):now, tell me, Do you love me ?

美女:en~~~~~what?

野兽:Do you love me ?

美女:~~~~No,I wont love you,you just are a beast.

野兽(愤怒的):A~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!

(转身离去)

旁白:two hours later

野兽:Do you want go home ?Just go, never come back.

美女:Thank you.I think you are a kind man.

野兽:thanks . but I am nothing.

美女:bye~~~(转身离去)

旁白:one night the beauty make a dream,she dreamed the beast lied on his garden,and he will die soon.

美女:NO!(从梦中惊醒,飞快地奔向野兽城堡)

美女:Hoo no!Dont die!

野兽(躺在地上有气无力地):you have come~~~~.Didnt I told you never come back here? I will die soon.Just let me die.leave me~~~~~~

美女:No~~~I cant leave you, I love you~~~~

野兽:what ?

美女:I love you!

(野兽突然变成了王子)

王子:I love you too!

美女(吃惊地):your face , how handsome you are!

王子:I was maken magic by a old sorcess,only a beauty girl's ture love could broken the magic, now ,I do it now.

美女:OH~~~I love you , I wont leave you!(条件允许的话,抱

大学生英语搞笑话剧剧本篇四：大学生英语短剧剧本(4人)

Scene ⅰ:

地点（at campus）

人物：kevin Jason and Rita

Jason: Oh ,I’m sorry ,are you ok ? 对不起，你还好吗？

Rita: How familiar! 好眼熟啊！

J: you pick? 是你捡的吗？

Kevin: Shut up ！谁说的！

R and J: Kevin ? 是Kevin 吗？

K: Jasson ? Rita ?

Rita:Kevin! Do you know ? I miss you so much. we have lost much

romantic without you 你知道吗? 我太想你了kevin,没有你我们少了很多浪漫

Jason:It’s so nosiy here ,let’s find a quiet place to talk.这里太吵了，我们找个安静的地方聊吧

K to R: Is it convenient for you to share your department with me during my finding job?在我找工作期间方便让我住你的宿舍吗?

R: Sure ,no problem,as long as avoid dormitory administrator当然没问题,只要躲过宿管就可以了

J: But why? What happened to you ? I thought that after graduation you will live well.但是为什么啊？你怎么了？我以为你毕业后会过的很好

R: You’re such a dream catcher .why are you come back to the place where you were sick of?你那么有梦想的人，怎么还要回到你曾经连做梦都不爽的地方？

K: Because no money ,no job,even there’s no place to live.Nothing at all. 因为我没钱、没工作，甚至连住的地方都没有，一无所有。 R：Impossible !这不可能！

K: This is what happened…事情是这样的。。。

Scene ⅱ:

(at kevin’s home)

人物：Kevin , land lady Marry

M: Open the door, open the door.开门开门

K: What’s wrong ？Marry？有事吗Marry?

M: Look,you must be paid as rent, You’ve defaulted if for 6 months. Not only didn’t I take your deposit,but also I disbursed ultilities for half a year. I’m enough of it .pay off your bills ,right now.听着，你现在必须付房租，你已经拖6个月了，我不仅没收你押金，连水电都帮你垫付了半年。我受够你了，付清账单，现在，马上， 立刻，马上！

K: please, I have no money now. Look , I only eat the cheap bread for food . 拜托，我现在真的没钱。看，我只能吃这种廉价的食物。 M: Wow , turn to black , is it my dog’s food ? 哇，都变色了！是我家狗的食物吗？

K: Oh , my dear ！I promise I will pay off your debt once I find a job.

please extend a time limit.噢，天哪！拜托，我现在真的没钱，我保证，一旦我找到工作我一定付清。再宽限几天吧。

M: Find a job? Ha. . you’ve said that over 100 times. and then?找到工作？哈。。你都说了100遍了。然后呢？

K: I work so hard ,but useless.Which company would hire a man

without any certificates？我已经很努力了，可又有什么用呢？哪家公司会雇用一个没什么证书的人呢？！

M: There’re a lot of choices around you. dustman, babysit, salesman and so on.你身边就有很多选择，环卫工人，保姆，销售员 ，等等、、 K: No no no ….i’m a university student.i’ll be a white collar,manager orsinger.at that time ,I’ll pay your double.不不不。。我可是个大学生,我将来可是会成为白领，经理，或是歌手什么的。那时， 我会付你双倍。

M:Well , thank you .but I don’t’t hink I can wait to .university student.if you don’t pay off your debt,please go out..，我想我等不到那天的，“大学生”，如果你不交清房租水电就请出去

Scene ⅲ:

地点：campus

人物：K R J

K: You see ,that’s why I asked Rita’s department.这就是我为什么蹭

住R的公寓的原因

R： Why not go home ?为什么不回家呢？

K：Home? Be a farmer?no I’m going to die.回家？当农民？我不如去死。 J： At least,you won’t worry about the food and the place to live.至少不愁吃住啊

K:simple house and diet,I can’t bear to be laughed at by rose.吃得差住的差，我可不想被ROSE笑话。

J: Oh how about rose.对了，ROSE 怎么样了。

K: Now ,she is a civil servant,it’s unfair.these bookishes benefit

all,including JULAR, HELLEN.当公务员了，这个世界真不公平，好处都让这些书呆子占尽了。包括Jular, Hellen.

J:No ,rose wanted to be a civil servant and succeed ,she is so extrodinary.不，ROSE 的梦想是当公务员，而且他实现了，真厉害。

R： She so focus on the score ,even no personality.does she have dreams.她那么重视成绩，而且没个性，她会有梦想吗？

J：She just obey teachers.她只是太听老师话而已。

K：She has dreams,however,I just made daydreams.oh still now,I got it that making dreams come true relys on occupations.most of us only make day_dream. Therefore ,make fun of those that accumulate capital. I have only myself to blame她有梦想，而我只是做梦。天啊，我今天才明白有梦想还要有资本，梦想才能成真，我们大多只顾做梦不去积累资本，而且还取笑那些积累资本的人，我真是咎由自取。

J: It’s not enough that just have dreams原来仅仅有梦想还是不够的 R：Don’t be sad!we’ll help you .别难过，我们会帮助你的。

J：Yes ,you rest your heart living here, then, center your attention on finding job.是的，你就暂住这里，然后努力找工作。

K: Criticaliy, now , I have to get the one back , diploma , which I’ve lost.最可怕的是，我现在必须把我已经丢掉的东西——毕业证，拿回来。 R: Ideed ,I wouldn’t l ike yours.确实，我也不想像你这样。

R to J : how about us ? Are we still only dreaming but action?那我们又是怎样呢？我们也还是只做梦不行动吗？

K: Look up to the sky, more should be down-to-earth. 仰望天空，更应脚踏实地。

J: Our dream is far beyond the range of possible without efforts and sweet.不付出努力和汗水我们的梦想是不会实现的。

K,J,R: Dream catcher, go into action, right now.追梦人，行动起来吧

大学生英语搞笑话剧剧本篇五：大学生原创经典搞笑小品剧本

这是本人把平时的积累运用到一处的结晶，并且身体力行，在我大一的时候在我们院的迎新晚会上获得二等奖，绝对原创，希望可以帮助到你。《旁白：话说唐僧师徒四人去西天取经，这日，师徒四人翻过黑风岭，来到一村庄，此处炊烟袅袅，似有人家，四人奔波劳累，在此休息片刻、、、、、》唐僧：《圣经》里有这么一句诗：“山重水复疑无路，柳暗花明又一村。”不知不觉来到了这人杰地灵的风水宝地，此处小桥流水人家， 古道西风瘦马。空空，为师饿了，快去找些斋饭来。悟空：师父，你不是正在减肥吗？那脂肪燃烧的岁月可花了我们不少盘缠啊！唐僧：笨猴子，不吃饱怎么减肥啊！悟空：好吧，师父，我去去就来，八接，沙师弟，Ｔake care of our teacher Tang!唐僧：八戒，那猴子说的什么鸟语啊！？八戒：师父，那猴子看我英语过了四级，心里不平衡，所以日夜用工，想超过我。唐僧：哦，原来是ＥＮＧＬＩＳＨ啊，咦！八戒，那边是不是过来了一位wonder girl八戒：师父真的耶，好漂亮哦。唐僧：猪、、八戒，你又失态了，注意你猪的形象，她虽然长的不丑但也美的不明显。白精：I want nobody nobody ,but you !I want nobody nobody ,but you !沙僧：ＳＴＯＰ　，姑娘你好，你多大了，你叫什么名字，从哪里来，要到哪里去，家里有几口从，你可知道这一路上有好多妖怪啊，不 过，嘿嘿、、我会保护你的。白精：这位小和尚有礼了，小女子姓白名晶晶。悟空：何方妖怪，胆敢搔扰我师父，啊、、、、、原来是晶晶。白精：空空，是你吗?悟空：晶晶，真的是你吗？唐僧：ＯＨ　ＭＹ LADＹＧＡＧＡ，好感人啊，自从看了ＪＡＫＥ和ＲＯＳＥ的故事后就再没有见过这么感人的场面了（作掩面哭泣状）沙僧：师父同，别让人笑话了，那是《泰坦尼克号》唐僧：哦，为师忘了出门忘吃药了，记忆力差了许多啊！八戒：大师兄，神马情况？悟空：（作憧憬状）那年我读大一，我是学习委员，晶晶是文艺委员，我本无意与从不同，奈何品味出众，最后晶晶选择了我，而我 ， 却拒绝了她。白精：是啊，人生能有几回爱，我可以选择放弃，但我不能放弃选择。空空，假如时光倒流，我们还可以从头再来吗？悟空；不、、行！人生没有彩排的机会，每时每刻都是现场直播，比如现在就是、、、白精：如果我是五毛，你也是五毛就好了，这样我们就可以凑成一块了！沙僧：唉！人生最悲哀的事莫过于你曾经和她无数次擦肩而过，衣服都擦破了，也没有擦出火花，最后无奈各奔东西。八戒：你们为什么

没有在一起呢？白精：他说他要考研了，我不想担误她的前途啊八戒：哦，啊，不对，猴哥你不是人，那白小姐她、、、（作害怕状）唐僧：禽兽，不对，妖怪，快打她。白精：别紧张，我不是什么好人，我这次来不是吃你的师父的，我只是想告诉你在这个世界上还有一个人是永远思念你的，既然你一心向 佛，追求进步，我也不好阻拦。唐僧：记得那一天，上帝按排你们见了面（唱，这是一首歌《那一天》）， 很多人因为寂寞而错爱了一人，但是更多的人，因为错爱一 人而寂寞一生。悟空：晶晶，那一夜，你没有拒绝我，那一夜，我伤害了你。你说你喜欢我，其实、、、其实、、一开始，唉，跟你说了吧，其实我也挺 喜欢我自己的。白精：你可知上天是不公平的，你可以选择爱我或者不爱我，而我却只能选择爱你或更爱你。思悠悠，恨悠悠，恨到归时方始休。月明人 依楼，空空，五百年了，你真的一点也不想我吗?八戒：现如今我师兄护送我师父取经，念在旧情上，你就不要再难为他了。沙僧：时过境迁，大师兄已经不是原来的他了，你那张旧船票已登不上他那张破船了。唐僧：悟空，你格式化自己，原来是为了删除她啊！悟空：事到如今，你是选择自己走呢，还是选择我把你打走呢？白精：唉！没了寂寞，谁来陪我。为什么你给了我两个选择，却是同一个结局？为何多情的人总被无情的伤！齐　：其实这就是爱情，本来就不公平。（唱，张靓颖）唐僧：马不停蹄的错过，轻而易举的故负，不知不觉的陌路。八戒：两情若是久长时，又岂在朝朝暮暮！白小姐，同是天涯沦落人，沦落至今仍沦落，不如我跟我走吧，我会给你幸福的！（上去揩油）白精：放手，你信不信我一巴掌把你拍在墙上，抠都抠不出来！见过丑的，没见过你这么丑的，乍一看，挺丑，仔细一看确实丑，你的长 相已经突破了猪的极限，我鄙视你！八戒：鄙视我的人那么多，你算老几！我心照明月，明月照阴渠。那你刚才为什么对我笑？白精：姐不是蒙娜丽莎，不会对每个人毛微笑。更何况对你微笑，纯属礼貌。唐僧：放手吧，不要迷恋晶晶，晶晶只会让你伤心。她也不是巴黎欧莱雅，你不值得拥有。即使你们站在阳光下，你们的影子也是黑的。沙僧：二师兄，有一种爱叫放手，耐心等待吧，只要遇到菠萝，盐也可以发出甜美的味道 的。悟空：八戒，别伤心，即使是一坨屎也有遇到屎壳郎的一天。你不必为今天的自己而担扰！白精：问世间情为何物，只教人生死相许。我走了、、、、、、悟空：晶晶不用哭

了，眼泪是你邮寄给我的礼物，可地址是不怎么幸福。没事的，回去打点医生开点后悔药兑着忘情水喝了就好了。唐僧：苏轼跟我说过，技上柳绵吹又少，天涯何处无芳草。徒儿们，当你们选择了袈裟就注定要放弃婚纱。爱情是不期而遇的，可以期待 ，但不可以制造，越是寂寞，越要警惕爱情啊！生命诚可贵，爱情价更高，若为取经故，二者皆可抛！你们已经大彻大悟了，阿弥 陀佛。齐：阿弥陀佛！

大学生英语搞笑话剧剧本篇六：英语短剧剧本——大学生活的意义

True meaning of college life 旁白一：What’s the true meaning of the life? This question is hovering in my mind when I entered the college。（多镜头切换，从不同视角拍主角在在操场行走）

生活的真正意义是什么？当我迈进大学开始，这个问题就在我的脑海盘旋。

（开始回忆最开始进入大学的时候）I still remember that day when I came here first day.（提着行李箱，站在南门，抬头着校门对大学充满了期望）As time goes by, I feel more and more confused about the college life. Because this problem has been bothering me for long. I try my best to find the answer, but everybody has his own feeling.

我仍然记得我第一天来到这里的情形。时光流逝，我对于大学生活越来越困惑。这个问题困扰我很久了，我尽我所能的去寻找答案，但是人人都有自己的理解。

Scene 1

第一人：

旁白：Hey, guy, may I ask what university life is like in your mind?

同学，请问你心中的大学生活是什么样子的?

A: well, speaking of university life, it should be rich. In my opinion, we shouldn’t waste the time. What we should do is to make good use of every minute. What’ more, young as we are, university life should be filled with passion. We should go out for the outside world, experiencing something new.

A：奥，大学生活啊，应该是充实的。在我看来，不应该任时间被浪费掉。应该充分利用每一分钟。其次，对于年轻人而言，大学生活还应该是富有激情的。我们要多出去见识一下世面，多闯荡闯荡。

B:I rarely surf the Internet in my daily life, sometimes I just do for some profiles and current affairs. In my opinion,I think we should go out for a walk more, rather than stay in the dormitory, chat on the Internet, see some bad idol drama.Oh,look at this book,it is very wonderful and amazing,it is useful. I’ve been appealed to it.Oh .I am so sorry, It is time for listening.

翻译：我平时很少上网，偶尔上网也是为了查查资料，了解时事而已啦。在我看来，我们应该多出去走走，而不是天天呆在宿舍，上网聊天，看些乱七八糟的偶像剧。看看这本书，它非常的精彩，也非常的有用。我已经被它深深的吸引了。哦，非常抱歉，我该练习听力了！

第三人：

旁白：hey, guy, what are you doing? C: studying of course, what else will you do, if you don’t study on campus? Shit! Stand by please, I’m very busy. Don’t bother me, OK? Come on! Come on! Come on! Oh my GOD!

OK! OK! Take it easy. Frankly speaking, as an adult, what the most important is enjoying yourself here and now. We have no time before we really go to work. Don’t you think so?

C：当然是在学习吗！来大学不学习，那是来干什么的！

第四人：

D: Stupid Cunt! College isn’t the ivory tower that you have imagined! College is bridge which relates us to society. College students are supposed to take a knowledge for the society in

advance and get out for the outside world!(QQ声音响起)Oh，It is high time that I talked about the practical job. Don’t bother me.

旁白二：Having listened to all the answer, life is becoming more vast and hazy for me. I think it is not what I want. What exactly university life is like; I cannot wait for a second to find out the answer. I want to get more.

在听了他们的答案后，我对生活更加迷茫。我想这不是我要的答案。那大学生活打底应该想什么样啊？我等不及了，我想知道更多的答案。

Scene 2

E: Now I am finally experiencing the university which I have been dreaming for a long time! I have dreamt about the university life is this?

(早上9点才起床，伸懒腰，戴上眼镜。在床上完了一会手机，一晃就10点半啦。慢吞吞的下床，继续打游戏)

E: However, now this is like:

(凌晨5点半起床，匆匆忙忙起床，在电脑上查阅资料，写作业，一直重复这样的工作直到12点，才缓缓地上床睡觉。

F: Now that we have come to university, I thought it would be like this:

But actually:

(与美女擦肩邂逅，共同学习，约会；实际上，碰了一个哥们儿，成为了好基友)

旁白三：My dormitory mates don’t give me the answer. I would figure out my life. I would catch the true meaning of the college life.

我的室友没有给我答案。我想自己去追寻生活，我自己去找寻真谛。

Scene 3

C: Hi! Did you see the recruitment of a variety of part-time job? It sounds nice!

嗨，你看到了很多兼职在招人吗？听上去不错额！

D: I saw that! There would be a lot of little posters around the university, says “Recruitment……100 Yuan an hour.” I have just done plenty of part-time jobs, such as a private tutor, a laptop salesman, a KFC salesman and so on. Let me see, oh, adding up to five .I think that I could make much money.

我看见了。校园里到处都是很多小广告，上面写着“招聘……一小时100元”我已经找了很多兼职了，比如家教，电脑销售员，肯德基服务员等等。让我想想，加起来有5个吧。我想这可以转不少的钱啦

C: Oh my god, five? You must be crazy. You have taken in so many part-time jobs, will you have enough time to complete your study? Don’t forget that you have also joined the Student’s Union. 我的天哪，5个？你肯定是疯了。你找了这么多兼职，你还是时间学习吗？别忘了，你还参加了学生会额。

D: You thought too much, association is just a few people gathering around for playing, how busy

can we be?（OK,OK,I know ,Thank you for giving me the opportunity）, I’m gonna have an interview, baby, wait for me here!

你想多了，学生会只是一群人聚在一起玩，我们怎么可能会忙啊？（好的，好的，谢谢你给我这次机会），我现在有一个面试，亲爱的，等我啊！

Scene 8

Midnight

深夜

C: Why did you come back so late? Is it that you have found a girl in the society and unwilling to come back to dormitory again?

你怎么回来这么晚啊？是不是在外面找了个女朋友不愿意回寝室啦？

D: Stop it! What are you babbling? I got up early in the morning to help them publicize our society, in the afternoon I attended a meeting ,and I just come back from my part-time job. Tomorrow I’ll get up early to prepare a plan. How can I have the time to meet girls?

闭嘴吧！你脑子在想些什么？我一大早起床帮助他们安排学生工作，下午我又去开会，我现在才做了兼职回来。明早我还得准备一个策划啊。我哪有时间约会？

C:See what. I’ve told you. You have undertaken too much works, sooner or later you’ll get your hands full.

看吧，我早告诉你了，你做这么多工作，迟早你会手忙脚乱的。

D:Then you’re satisfied to sit here and play LOL with you all day along?

总比你安于待这儿整天打游戏吧

C: You must have forgotten that it is tomorrow that the higher mathematics homework should be hand on.

你肯定忘了明天高数课要交作业啊。

D: What? Come on, let me copy yours. There is no time!!

什么，快，让我抄一下，没时间了

C: It is you to write the movie script of your English group, you won’t be able to finish them all. 你还要写英语剧本额，你肯定不可能完成的。

旁白四：I will complete my college life. Although I have done so many matters, I make my life mess. I found that I am not what I just thought. I don’t become a xueba, I don’t find a girlfriend……I am still caught in trouble. Maybe you have got an better answer?

我即将完成我的学业。尽管我做了很多，但是我却将他们弄得一团糟。我发现我和当初想的完全不一样。我没有成为学霸，没有找到女朋友……我还是迷茫。也许你会有更好的答案。

结尾视频：(大家一起拍)From this video, I don’t know whether you understand college life. But no matter what you do , no matter what you think ,never waste your every minute. （最后一句大家一起说）Because time doesn’t wait you!

从这个短片中，我不知道你们是否明白大学生活的真谛，但是不管你还在做什么，不管你还在想什么，都不要浪费你的每一分钟。因为时间不会等你！

大学生英语搞笑话剧剧本篇七：大学生搞笑话剧

大学生搞笑话剧

人物：三个学生，一个是普通的学生，简称学生；一个是喝醉酒的学生，简称醉汉；另一个是因感情受挫的学生，并且他想当和尚，所以简称和尚；

地点：宿舍；

时间：晚饭过后；

（学生趴在桌子上玩手机，醉汉一副罪醺醺的样子进来） 醉汉：干什么呢?

学生：还能干什么?锄禾日当午，汗滴禾下土；闲来没事干，不如斗地主；你小子又喝多了？

醉汉：跟你说件事，我刚才在回来的路上突发灵感，好像我。我。我继承了李白的基因-啊

学生：（不相信）哎呀，看你怎么头上飘起一头牛。。 醉汉：（用手作手枪状；枪口指向头上方）嘭。。牛已经被我消灭了，现在我说的毫无疑问了吧

学生：你头上怎么又飘起了两头

醉汉：去。。不跟你玩了。。赶紧准备纸笔，替我写封情书；

学生：情书？李白的基因应该写诗啊，怎么写情书啊。 醉汉：变异了，不行吗？

学生：再说情书你写给谁啊？

醉汉；嘻嘻，（诡笑）你知道的。

学生：（有点疑问）我知道？（指自己，醉汉点了点头）让我猜猜；是长发的，短发的，卷发的，还是披肩的？ 醉汉：不对，就是上星期我陪她去德化街那个扎马尾的。 和尚：（和尚回到宿舍）就是那个恐龙的表妹孔雀？ 学生：喔。。那个呀。。你--肯定没戏了，就凭你那那一次行为在人家心中的形象已经毁了，来，和尚要不咱们再表演一下？

学生：（模仿醉汉说的话）亲爱的！！我们去那买衣服吧，才一百一十九（119）（演后捧腹大笑）

和尚；(紧接着说,模仿孔雀说的话）你眼睛是不是有毛病啊?那分明写着火-警-1-1-9（模仿结束）说完那女的转身就走了

醉汉：还看我笑话你不被也被女的甩了吗？

和尚：（很生气,大喊）别跟我提女人

学生：（对醉汉说）你提到人家痛处了

和尚；我容易吗？我。。为治失恋之痛，毅然决然地暂时性出家，人人都会有，没什么大不了。南无阿弥陀佛（向南拜）

醉汉：你看你，说你不陈恳，你也不信，南面没有阿弥陀佛，你因该向北拜

和尚：要你管（但还是转身向北拜）

学生：和尚，你手里拿的什么书？

和尚；（拿出书，向大家展示）刚在图书馆借的《新少林七十二绝技之一筋经》，据说学习《一筋经》后，会出现两种结果：第一种是永不再二，第二种结果就是二得更狠，， （和尚开始回到自己的位子打开一筋经看）

学生：（指着和尚说）那你肯定是后种情况了

醉汉：别管他，赶紧写我的情书，我说你写。

（学生准备好）

醉汉：亲爱的，冒号，回车，两个空格（解释，实际是手写，但因为他醉了所以用的计算机语言）

学生：格式我知道的，下面的-

醉汉：自从德化街一别到现在（数手指）再有二十三天就一个月了，你可知没有你的这一个月都是怎么过的吗？ 学生：停，好像才七天，怎么说是一个月，

醉汉；我后二十三天估计也是这样子了，失恋痛苦一百天，我一个月，不少了

学生：好吧，继续

背景音乐；

醉汉;(深情的）我每天都生活在悔恨和对你深深的思念之中。每天当我看到一对对情侣借着黄昏似地灯光牵手走过操场。我是什么感受吗?我仰望天空看着天上的闪烁的星

星，我在思考，天上的星星那么遥远，我却看得见，你，那么近，却不在我眼前。

每当我看到和你相像的人，我都忍不住多看几眼，看看是不是你。但是，偌大的校园，像你的人那么多，却没有一个真正的你，我不明白：为什么你离开了我，然而我却生活在有你影子的生活里，我猜--因为我依然爱着你 背景音乐关闭

学生：写的太感人了。。

和尚；（走过来）我过来的主要目的不是来感化你的，而是。。我想问一下，写好之后能不能也给我复制一份，我也想寄给那谁

学生：放心吧，哥们，她不爱-你我爱你，他不要你-我要你

和尚：对，让单相思飞吧

醉汉：（还在那深情中徘徊，不理他们说的话）无情的秋风，吹散了树与叶的相伴，却吹段不了我对你的思念 和尚；写的太好了，和徐志摩有一拼

学生：徐志摩有什么了不起的，他不就是打麻将总是“自摸”吗？

醉汉：（缓过神来，骄傲的说），就是，他哪能跟我比，我这人啊，除了优点没啥了{{刚才同情他，他没有在意，人家一夸奖他，他就立刻缓过神来了，这又能说明什么呢}}

（见没人理他，接着说）你们别不信，我与史泰龙还有一共同优点呢？

和尚;甚么？？

学生;（猜测)都喜欢美女？

醉汉：那是另说，我在看电影《洛基》的时候，忽然发现史泰龙爬楼梯的时候一步两个台阶，嘻嘻--我也是耶 和尚;（对学生说），我看他很有必要修行《一筋经》，以他这情况说不定就帮我证明了第二种情况不可能发生 学生：我看他可以写一本自传叫《二筋经》，销量肯定不错

醉汉：去，不就是写本书吗？说不定我还能成为二得祖师爷呢，先让我看一下《一筋经》。我好写《二筋经》啊 和尚：（把书递给醉汉）

醉汉；（一手拿着书，一手挠着头发）我怎么觉得好像有什么东西没干呢？

和尚：什么东西!?

学生：对了，征文还没写呢，《我要的飞翔》明天都得交 （和尚也紧张起来)

醉汉：急什么？百度一下，不就行了

(三人急忙拿手机，忙了起来)

学生：怎么都是小学生和中学生写的，没大学生写的 和尚：大学生都太“谦虚”了，{{事实果真如此吗}}

大学生英语搞笑话剧剧本篇八：爱的旋律_大学生_英语剧本_英语短剧_6人话剧_原创

爱的旋律

The rhythm of love

Actors: 孔上海 丁宗玉 冯杰 朱媛媛 赵红玉 冯芳

报幕：李彩丽

X:孔上海 J: 冯杰 W:朱媛媛 D:丁宗玉 Y: 冯芳 Z: 赵红玉

（总道具：一个可以撕页的卡）

第一幕：

道具：凳子两个，棒棒糖.

人物：孔上海 冯杰 朱媛媛

(冯杰and 朱媛媛 唱歌入场 《Girlfriend》艾薇儿)

(冯杰 and 朱媛媛 唱完后 找个凳子坐下 做聊天状)

孔上海: Today, there is a dance party, I join in and want to find my girl!! Where are you, my girl!!!(手势动作)

(孔上海走到朱媛媛面前端详， 当朱媛媛伸出手以为要请她跳舞时候，孔上海马上跳到冯杰面前,给棒棒糖,唱老鼠爱大米英文版,然后两人到台前)

孔上海: I have fell in love with you!

冯杰: It’s too rapid! I can’t confront it.

孔上海: Ok! Shall we try to live some day to be suitable to each other?

冯杰: Although I admit you are a food boy, but…

孔上海: Ok. So much for today. I will send text messages to you tonight, wait for me, my sweet! 冯杰:…….

(孔，冯杰退下 朱媛媛起身 上前走一步，先回头张望)（背景音乐响起《Right Here Waiting》） 朱媛媛: Not every one you loved is suitable to you, and you will lose a chance to get a better one.. I will be waiting for you until I change my mind….(语速变缓)

第二幕：

道具：凳子两个，外套一件（先放在地上），饭盒一个，英语书.

人物：孔上海 冯杰 朱媛媛

(朱媛媛先进来，带上饭盒 放在孔上海的座位上，恋恋不舍离开并一边回头张望，然后坐到自己位置上，拿起书看）

(孔上海入场，先是看到了饭盒，很奇怪，端起）

孔上海：It’s strange! 朱媛媛,is it yours?

朱媛媛: No ! it’s yours.

孔上海: Ok that’s fine . No matter who it belongs , I’m hungry now , eating is a good choice. (冯杰进来，看到孔上海在吃饭)

冯杰: Is it delicious? Wish you have a good time!

(冯杰然后走开 走到门外)

(孔上海走向前台 指着冯杰)

孔上海: It’s she bring the food! She is concerned about me！！

(高兴状，然后回去， 睡觉了)

(朱媛媛看到孔上海睡觉了就偷偷摸摸的过去，给他加衣服，此时冯杰在门口进来 刚好看到)

(朱媛媛做出可爱状 恋恋不舍状，慢慢走开 碰到冯杰）

朱媛媛: Hi 冯杰!

冯杰: Hi 朱媛媛! Nice to meet you .

(朱媛媛急急忙忙走开，冯杰走进去，回了回头 很用力的砸书，孔上海被惊醒)

第三幕：

道具: 纸做的棒子一个，木棒子一个，水桶（纸做的也可以）， 新华字典，新华字典书皮，大话西游草稿。(音乐：敢问路在何方)

赵红玉: Hi, boy! It looks like you have lost your girl friend, right?

孔上海: Yes. How do you get to know?

赵红玉: 贫道..

冯芳: first blood! (打赵红玉….)

赵红玉: 贫僧 come from china! I’m the master of Buddhism.

孔上海: I know you! You have three students: a monkey a pig and a monster. It’s you 去西天取经

赵红玉: no ! not 去西天取经，but 去西天拜堂成亲.

(孔上海做出惊讶状)

赵红玉: I have a good book only sold ten yuan … do you want to get one?

孔上海: 葵花宝典？

赵红玉: no no no .. 新华字典!!!(撕下书皮)

Once upon a time, there was a true love in front of me, I didn’t cherish it, if I was to meet him again, I wish to say I love you. if you would ask me how long I would love him, I would say ten thousands years. That man is you the only man I love in this world is you .only you(sing)

冯芳: stop! Double kill! (并打赵红玉…) 孔上海, listen carefully and then answer the questions, do you like eating pork?

孔上海: yes! It’s my favorite!

冯芳: tripe kill!! (并打孔上海…) I’m 猪八戒 , the most clever beautiful handsome bright pig in the world!!!

赵红玉: 八戒！ I persuade you many times that you not play too many computer games! especially 魔兽争霸 and dota!!

冯芳: I had a girl called 嫦娥… I have a dream that one day this love will rise up ,it’s a dream deeply rooted in the dream! Oh!!嫦娥!!! I miss you!!!!

孔上海: oh??? 高翠兰is there.

冯芳: where? Where? 翠兰！！I’m coming!!

（冯芳马上跑了过去，赵红玉追了过去 边喊 八戒！八戒！)

孔上海: a silly pig. My classmates had three girl friends called 嫦娥.

第四幕：紧箍

（冯杰 丁宗玉上场）

冯杰: 丁宗玉, I’m your girl friend now. Tomorrow, would you love me as today?

丁宗玉: oh my silly girl, why would you say so ? I’m a man with responsibility, you are my first girl !

冯杰: 丁宗玉, I trust you forever…….

(冯杰，丁宗玉开始拿到冰激凌的盒子， 丁宗玉喂冯杰吃，此时孔上海上场，做四处张望状) 孔上海: 冯杰! Where are you!! You are my girl!

(此时看到冯杰，丁宗玉 在亲密， 孔上海 冲了过去)

孔上海: 冯杰 ! You are here! I’m looking for you all night! （生气 惊讶状）who is he？ Why will you get along with him？

冯杰: get out! I hate you! you are a cheat , 朱媛媛 is your girl , right?

孔上海: no！朱媛媛is just my classmate， why do you think so？ （此时孔上海上前想要解释 不小心把冯杰推倒， 冯杰做倒地状）….

(此时丁宗玉 上前，一把打倒孔上海， 孔上海倒地)

孔上海: 冯杰! I defeat him! You know you are my only girl and I love you so much that I can do anything for you!

(此时 赵红玉，冯芳上场 看到丁宗玉 做出惊讶状 )

赵红玉: Wukong(丁宗玉)! Why do you stay here? We are going to Xitian!

丁宗玉: oh my god!!! Master tang …. I just have some little thing, could you wait a moment?

赵红玉: Wukong ! You are as naughty as before.(开始念紧箍咒)

（丁宗玉 开始痛苦）

冯杰: No !! 丁宗玉!! You are not my boy! You are sun wukong! Oh my lady gaga!!! You are just a monkey!!!

冯芳: Brother monkey! What are you doing! I will tell all happened to 紫霞仙子… 丁宗玉: Oh no!! You silly pig!!! Wait!! Wait!!

(赵红玉，冯芳 开始走了， 丁宗玉马上追上)

（音乐: 梁静茹《可惜不是你》）

第五幕：

道具：优乐美

（孔上海 继续倒在地上， 朱媛媛 走过来 扶起他）

朱媛媛: You know you can lose a chance but no second to get a better one.. I will be waiting for you and miss you until I change my mind…

孔上海: Really？ I’m sure you are the best girl for me..

(朱媛媛 拿出奶茶)

朱媛媛: Do you know who you are?

孔上海: I’m 孔上海! Any wrong？

朱媛媛: No ! You are this !

孔上海: Am I just a milky tea?

朱媛媛: You are my 优乐美!!!

（背景音乐响起:《蒲公英的约定》前奏）

（两人相扶而起，冯杰 进入视野，冯杰开始告白）

（冯杰看到孔上海，朱媛媛在一起了，先顿了顿 然后走了过去）

冯杰: I know ,I know …. Not everyone I loved is suitable to me, and I will lose a chance to get one ...

孔上海: And no second choice to get a better one.

The End

大学生英语搞笑话剧剧本篇九：大学生英语剧本

May Dream Won't Come Ture》

Scene1

（学校食堂里，下课铃刚响）

Narrator:又一个上午过去了，食堂里迎来了新一轮的抢饭风暴。“襄樊学院广播台提醒各位抢饭同学注意形象，注意排队秩序”。

（人潮涌进，餐桌上迅速被书和包占领，卖饭窗口前排成N条长龙，A与B小跑上场） A：Oh,no!There is no food again!We have already ran as fast as we can.

B:(看看手表)25 seconds today.We'd better run quickly tomorrow.

A:What a wonderful thing if we needn't(指那堆挤来挤去的人)like this!

B:Well.Let's go ,back to dormitory,eat the junk food!What's lesson this afternoon?

A:We have a listening examination.It's boring!I may sleeping again~

Scene2

(A的办公室内)

Narrator:果然，下午的听力课上，A又睡着了，这次，她梦到了她的理想生活…… (A坐在办公桌前，秘书走进)

秘书：Good morning,A.I'll tell you today's arrangement:You have two lessons in the morning,they are music class and P.E.Then a computer less on after lunch.That's all.

(秘书退至一旁，音乐老师推门进)

A:Morning.Please sit down.

音：(拿着几张CD)That's no need.I have nothing to teach today.Your homework is listen to these CDs.Among them,Jay Chou's new record is the most important.If you have nothing to answer,I'll go.

A:(翻看CD)All right.Goodbye!(停顿片刻)The next one!(体育老师上)

A:Oh,should I wear athlete uniform?

体：Of course you needn't.In my class,you can just sit here and watch some sports match.So,which do you prefer,football or basketball?

A:Er...Baskerball is Okay.

体：Good!Boys,come on!(演员上场，表演花式篮球，配乐)

体：Are you satisfied?

A:Em...just so-so.I hope to watch football next time.You may go now.

体：Ok.Have a good week!(体育老师下，秘书和服务员上)

秘：A,It's time to have lunch.(退到一旁)

服：Good afternoon.What do you want today?

A:Mmm...Today I just want to eat something cheap.Beafsteak and red wine,please.

服：Thank you.(鞠躬)Wait a moment,please.(下场，秘书上前整理书桌 ，A翻看杂志)

秘：(整理完毕，打开文件夹)The computer teacher just called me that he would replace the lesson with a practise one in the Network Bar.So you can play the Crazy Dance on-line well.

A:Really?That's great.(饭菜送上)That's tips.

服：Thank you very much.(退场)

Scene3

Narrator:A下午的计算机课变成了网吧的实践课，这不，只见她奔腾地冲进了奔腾网吧，用183迈的速度将上下楼搜了个遍，猛然地发现座无虚席，于是她又奔腾地冲出了奔腾网吧，剑一样地射进了183.她今天的任务是练好劲舞团！

(A跑进网吧，找台电脑迅速坐下，开始游戏。音乐起，表演真人版劲舞团)

(数分钟后)

A：(伸个懒腰)So great that my computer's homework has finished.

Scene4

Narrator:就这样，A无忧无虑地度过了大学四年，终于到了要找工作的时候，A却四处碰壁，听到的最多的一句话莫过于——

面试官：(很礼貌地请A离开)I'm so sorry!

(A那着简历，垂头丧气地从台上走了一圈，脑海中不停回响那句话“Narrator:I'm so sorry……") Scene5

(听力考试的考场上，老师开始收卷，发现A在酣睡)

Narrator:下午的听力测试要结束了，A的梦也该 醒了……

老师：(很不耐烦地拍拍桌子，发现A仍然没醒，然后提高音量)Good afternoon!!!A!!! A:(换个睡觉姿势)En...Beafsteak and red wine,please.This's tips.(抓起试卷递上去)

老师：(看到空白的试卷，摇摇头)I'm so sorry!But I had to give you zero!You see, your paper is so clean!

(下课铃响，老师无奈离开，同学们纷纷冲出教室，只有B还等着A)

B：Hey!(看表)You have delayed 7s.We have nothing to eat again!

A:(刚刚清醒)Wow,wonderful.It's just a dream!(欢呼)It's doesn't matter.It's not a bad choice to fight for food sometimes,isn't it?

B:Gosh!Were are you frightened by the terrible dream?

A:Why did you say that?It's really a wonderful dream.I think it will turn my life around(欢快语气).

B:So you won't sleep in the class?

A:Of course.Let's go to the canteen!

B:Well,let's go!

Narrator:My dear friends,which life do you prefer to ,in the dream or in reality?(音乐起) ~The End~

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